Beating the odds?
by Thahcn
Summary: After being confronted with the truth, Beckett decides to step up and tell what she really feels.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Rick,

Words aren't enough to express just how much I miss you. I know it's my fault. I know I was the one who pushed you away. I'm always the one who pushes you away. But… Every since you said Always… I was scared. Having you say that? It scared the hell out of me. And I'm just not used to being scared. I didn't know what to do. You were just there. No matter what I did, no matter what I said… You just keep coming back! Until I got used to you. You came back so many times that I actually believed you were waiting for the wall to come down. That you would wait for me to be ready, as you said you would. How was I to know? How was I supposed to know that you wouldn't? Did I wait too long? Did I ask too much? Don't you love me any longer? Is this the end of us?

Please, tell me I'm wrong. Please Castle, I need to know that I still hold your heart. Please tell me I'm still your muse, your one writer girl. I need to know we are ok Rick. I need you so I can BE ok. I need you to by my side to go through each day. I need we to beat the odds. I need to know that you love me, as I love you. I know I lied, before, telling you I didn't remember when truth is I remember every second of it. And since we are on that… Know that it was your love that made me fight that. And that's why I woke up scared. Loving you? This feeling? Is much bigger than anything I've ever felt. It's scary, it's heartbreaking… It's wonderful. Just thinking of you makes my heart beat faster. All the songs make sense Castle, and this is all because of you.

I hope you can forgive me, someday, for lying to you. I hope you can forgive me for never telling you before how much I love you. I hope you'll forgive me for being a coward about all this. I hope one day you'll forgive me for being so blind.

But I guess.. I guess I did wait too long. I guess I did miss my chance. And for that I'm so sorry. I'm sorry if I caused you pain, Rick. I'm sorry if I made you feel unworthy. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel the way I'm feeling now.

I just want you to know that I'll think of you. In every step of the way. I'll think of you at every moment of every day. Every coffee, every apple, every book, every cherry… It makes me think of you. And that's why I'm leaving Castle. I'm leaving because the thought of you with somebody else makes me want to shoot people. I'm leaving because there are just too many memories in here, and I can't deal with them right now. I'm leaving because I'm running out of excuses to go to your place and beg for you to go back into loving me. I'm leaving because if I don't, if I don't… Well, I don't think I'll be able to let you keep up in your life without me. Because I know I can't. Although I'll do my best to try.

I really hope you find happiness. And that you find someone who'll love you at least half as much as I do.

Goodbye Castle.

Always,

K.B.


	2. Chapter 2

*Beckett's voice*

"Hi, this is Detective Beckett. I can't answer you right now, please leave me a message."

Beep.

Hi Kate, it's me, Rick. Where the hell are you? It's been a week since I received that letter and I've been looking for you like crazy. Just where did you go? I mean it. We need to talk. Call me, ok?

Beep.


	3. Chapter 3

*Beckett's voice*

"Hi, this is Detective Beckett. I can't answer you right now, please leave me a message."

Beep

Ok Kate, that's just NOT FUNNY. We need to talk. Please tell me where you are. It's been more than a week. I'm worried. And why the hell didn't you let Ryan and Esposito tell me where you are? DAMN IT KATE! You can't just tell me you love me and disappear! Ok. That's it. I've had enough.

Beep.


	4. Chapter 4

*Esposito's voice*

Yo! It's Esposito. As you can see, I'm not here so… You know what to do.

Beep

Espo, it's me, Castle. Look, what do you want to give me Beckett's new address? The sky is the limit! I mean it. I really need to talk to her. Call me, ok?

Beep.


	5. Chapter 5

*Esposito's voice*

Yo! It's Esposito. As you can see, I'm not here so… You know what to do.

Beep

Esposito, you're the best. I owe you one! I'm taking the next flight there! Thanks buddy!

Beep


	6. Chapter 6

*Castle's Voice*

Hi, you just called Richard Castle. I'm not here at the moment so please leave me a message and I'll call you back. Unless you're my publisher or my agent.

Beep.

Castle, it's me, Beckett. Look, I know Esposito gave you my address and that we may have some unfinished business. I even agree that we need to talk but… I don't think I can. At least not right now. Please, just give me a little more time. Don't come after me, ok? I need to find out what to do next. I love you.

Beep.


	7. Chapter 7

Dear kate,

I know you asked me not to go after you and I won't, at least not right now. But I just couldn't let your letter unanswered. You said you love me. Do you have any idea how much I waited to her you say that? How much I dreamed about it? You said you love me and now you ask me to leave you alone. But I can't. I love you, Kate. I can't stop loving you and God knows I've tried.

But when I found out you remembered… It hurt Kate. I was hurt because I thought you didn't share my feelings and didn't want me to be embarrassed. I was hurt because I love you so and I thought you didn't love me back. And I couldn't bear the thought of having to live watching someone else break your wall. So I tried to move on. I tried to forget you, I've tried to replace you. But I couldn't. I couldn't because everywhere I looked I would see you. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, your laugh… Only you. I couldn't because no one ever made me feel the way you do. So I came back. I came back because there's no other place I would rather be. The heart wants what the heart wants Kate, and mine is pleading for you. My heart screams your name so loud I don't know how you couldn't hear it.

If I can forgive you? My love, I never had a chance. You were fighting against your ghosts and I should've seen that. Now the question is: can you forgive me? Can you forgive me for being selfish and not giving you your space, not respecting your insecurity, your need for time?

It's not too late Kate. It's never too late. Not for us. You didn't wait too long, but God knows you waited long enough. You're still my inspiration, my one writer girl, my muse. You always will be. So please don't push me away again. Please don't build yet another wall between us. Please let's give us a chance. Please Kate, let me love you as I always wanted to. Let me SHOW you what we can be together.

I love you Kate. Always. Let's be partners in crime and in life. Let's risk it Kate. Let's not look back in life and wonder "If only…". Not when it's about us. Let's try, shall we? Let's not wait another moment. Now the question is: can you do it? Are you willing to risk it? Because I am. When it's about us, my dear, I'm willing to beat the odds.

Always,

R.C.


	8. Chapter 8

*Castle's Voice*

Hi, you just called Richard Castle. I'm not here at the moment so please leave me a message and I'll call you back. Unless you're my publisher or my agent.

Beep.

Rick, Hi. It's me. Kate. Look, I think you're right. I'm coming for you. Be at your apartment in five.

I love you.

Beep.


	9. Chapter 9

*Beckett's voice*

"Hi, this is Detective Beckett. I can't answer you right now, please leave me a message."

Beep.

Kate, it's me, Lanie. What do you mean "you can't answer right now"? I don't hear from you since you came back! What's going on? Are you still running away from Castle? Girl, I'm telling you, you guys have to work things out. You can't just run away from him forever. Call me, ok? And you better not show up on my autopsy table in the meantime, otherwise, I'll kill you.

Beep.


	10. Chapter 10

*Lanie's voice*

"Hey there. This is Lanie Parish. I can't answer you right now so you know what to do."

Beep

Hi Lanie. It's Beckett. Look, I'm sorry I didn't call you, ok? But I've really being busy *Castle laughs at her side*. Oh, I've got to go. Call you later, ok?

Beep.


	11. Chapter 11

*Beckett's voice*

"Hi, this is Detective Beckett. I can't answer you right now, please leave me a message."

Beep.

*Lanie's voice*

Was that Castle's voice that I heard? Are you guys together? See? I TOLD YOU a little lipstick wouldn't hurt. You better update me on this real soon girl, otherwise I'm gonna smack your skinny ass.

Beep.


	12. Chapter 12

*Lanie's voice*

"Hey there. This is Lanie Parish. I can't answer you right now so you know what to do."

Beep

*Beckett's voice*

Yes, Castle and I have worked things out. And I was wondering…

*Castle's voice*

Beckett wants to know what are your feelings about being a maid of honor. *Beckett screams "Castle!" on the background* You girls can chat later. Bye

Beep


	13. Chapter 13

**I would like to thank Gabs, Karin and Jayd for the help on this one.**

**Also, thank you for all the incredible reviews. I didn't think it would be right to leave you all without a little something else. Hope you all enjoy it.**

**This is a work of fiction. Date and time came from my imagination only.**

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Mrs Rodgers and Mr. Beckett would like to request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

Katherine Beckett

Richard Edgar Castle

They're finally getting hitched without the tiger.

On December the 4th, at 14h on the New York Botanic Garden.

Followed by a reception at The Old Hunt.

**Now it really is The End. Hope you guys liked it. Reviews are more than welcome.**


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